Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
