Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
