So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
