when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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