I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.