honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
