I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
