Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
i drank out of a bidet.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Randomize
