Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
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