Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
