Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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