You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I came so hard my ears popped.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize