I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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