Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
