You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
nutella sex= disaster
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
