i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
