I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
