I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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