Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
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