A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
