You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
do nipples grow back?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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