He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
