...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
