If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
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