Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
We need a shit load of segways right now
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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