I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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