New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
