batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
