im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
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