He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
