She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Can I color on your dick again?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
