You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
