All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
he fucked my hip out of place.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
