So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
