Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I FOUND THE LEGS
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
