I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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