Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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