Fuck appropriateness.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
false alarm, still single
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
