He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again