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• (408): View more from California

  i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both

  (650): View more from California

  i think otters can do that

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• (310): View more from California

  u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.

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• (269): View more from Michigan

  I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!

  (1-402): View more from Nebraska

  It is literally 8 in the morning.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??

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• (801): View more from Utah

  How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.

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• (585): View more from New York

  I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.

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• (716): View more from New York

  This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked

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