Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(416): View more from Ontario

I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...

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(407): View more from Florida

So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!

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(716): View more from New York

I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.

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(216): View more from Ohio

the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.

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27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(804): View more from Virginia

you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms

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(404): View more from Georgia

It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer

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(778): View more from British Columbia

Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment

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