why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together