i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
