Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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