I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
