Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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