i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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