dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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