I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
