great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
