At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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