Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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