her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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