So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
