you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
