you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
