My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Threesome in a minivan. New low
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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