:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
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