she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
