There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
