just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Randomize
