Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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