Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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