Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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