Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
