One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
