can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
