The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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