She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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