So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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