ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
