I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
